Blacklake-Book4-1 Three Cousins

Chapter 9
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If I hadn’t been here before, I woulda been surprised the humble, two-story building which fades into the surrounding trees, has a room with any bars. Trolls maintain the peace pretty well in the Valley, without havin’ the need to incarcerate folk, often. That I know of.

“Ya stink,” one of my maybe-cousins in the next cell complained to the cousin I tried to drown with my ale.

He growled back, “Ya should smell me from this side of my snout.”

He’d lost his spit and vinegar, maybe, in the past hour. Pretty much happened once that troll constable picked him off of me with a fist wrapped around his skull. Never seen an ogre hangin’ in the air by his skull before. Lucky we ogres have a thick one. Been ugly if the troll had cracked his skull open like an egg.

Thomas shivered a bit, next to me on our bench. We’d gotten our own semi-private little barred cage. The seven questionable-cousins were a bit crammed into the one next to us.

Maybe I should explain to Thomas how generic the term cousin is among ogres. A little like I think humans call one another brothers when attendin’ church. I’d heard that. Though I’ve never been in a human church. Couldn’t remember the last time I’ve even visited an ogre temple.

“You think we could ask them to turn up the heat?” Thomas asked.

Strange question. But then, humans have pretty thin skin. Maybe why I’ve drawn their blood so many times on the basketball court. Never have figgered out why they want to be on the same court as us. Maybe to show they’re tough. I’ll text David and ask him why, when the constable gives me back my phone. Or, I could ask Thomas right now. He’s got nothing better to do than give it some thought. Hopefully, Ezra won’t leave us sittin’ here too long.

“It’s cold in here,” Thomas repeated.

“Well above freezin’,” I said. “Suck it up.”

“I’m from the Plain. Hasn’t been this cold down there in hundreds of years. Probably.”

“Prolly why I sweat so much, when I’m down there,” I mumbled.

He made that sound they call a snort. Without a propper snout, humans can’t give up a good snort. I took the opportunity to ask him my basketball question.

He sat quietly a long time. Maybe he didn’t hear me. But he finally cleared his throat. “Uh.” I waited. Had to be a testosterone thing, right? “Be kind of—” I waited some more. “Be rude to be split into different gyms. That’d be racist.”

There’s almost always a court open with the rims set at ten feet. Racist? That was really his answer? He risked bein’ broken in two, so he couldn’t be called a racist? Played on a court with twelve foot rims, so he wouldn’t feel guilty for slightin’ an ogre?

“What?” he said.

Humans have butt nuts for brains.

For some reason, my mind wandered on to the Ezra thing. I considered askin’ him about what he said to Ezra. Had a bunch of ogre bulls sittin’ ten feet away from us, but we ogres don’t have great hearing. We’re all about our sense of smell, thanks to our snouts. Grandpapa Klow calls em superior sinuses. I call it our super power. Papa always said, evolution-wise, ogres never had to worry about a predator sneakin’ up on us.

“Ezra told you, didn’t she?” he asked.

Hmm. It must have been on his stinkin’ guilty mind, too. I nodded.

“I, uh—” I waited. “Meant what I said.”

Hmm. Our races have a heap of—differences between us. Can’t say I’d ever think of humans as being anything better than homely. Weakly. Wimpy. Pale. Scrawny. Other less complimentary adjectives came to mind.

Ezra isn’t even particularly handsome in ogre terms. Her beauty comes from within. Ah I hate that cliche. Heard the aunts use the expression a bunch of times. But. Well. With Ezra. There’s some accuracy in it.

A grumble from the next cell broke into my thoughts. “Hey, Ike. Spose when yar party comes to take ya home, spose we can, ya know, get out with ya on their supervision?”

Made me grin. He feared whoever he called would let him simmer overnight. “Don’t think it works like that,” I answered.

He sighed. “I’m sorry for punchin’ ya in the ribs,” he said softly.

Ribs heal. He tackled me onto Lew’s filthy floor. If I worried about rabies from the tables, no tellin’ what I could get slidin’ around on those four-hundred year-old floor boards, that haven’t been mopped this century. Ick. Need to go to the hospital and get all of their vaccines, and a few shots of antibiotics. When did I get my last tetanus shot?

~ Ezra ~

We were directed to a side, private office, without havin’ to explain why we’re here. The troll there didn’t budge from behind his desk or particularly acknowledge us. Leanin’ back, he had his bare feet crossed, calves propped across the corner edge of his desk. Think he was eatin’ crickets from his take-out box. Coulda been centipedes, if it was his dessert.

“I’m—”

“Know who ya are,” the bull said. “We were in Creative Writin’ together junior year.”

Thought he looked familiar. Definitely had seen him around the Valley plenty of times since. “Ya’re donnin’ sergeant stripes now.”

“Am,” he said. “Good to see ya, Ezra, excludin’ the current what-for. How’ve ya been?”

“Keep busy at the Inn,” I said.

He nodded. Coaxed another cricket into his mouth with his chopsticks. Pretty sure, a cricket. Coulda been a fuzzy, dark-colored grub. “The Inn ever gonna start carryin’ troll fare?”

“We do, some. Especially off-season. Don’t put it on the menu. Kinda puts off the human customers. And since they’re pretty much our cash cows durin’ the high season—”

He laughed. Maybe to respond to my confusion, he said, “Cash cows.”

“Primary asset inflow,” I said.

“Know what ya meant,” he said. “Just created a humorsome image in my head. So the kerfuffle was all about ya goin’ hikin’ with a human?”

That closed my throat a bit. Didn’t figger it was really any of his business.

“Ya ogres are weird. Technically, none of my business,” he said. “But I have a lot of latitude with what I do with folk arrested for disturbin’ the peace.”

“So ya arrested Ike?” I asked.

“Oh, not formally. Then he woulda had to face his clan leader in the morning. And I figger he wouldn’ta wanted to look his papa in the eye and apologize for his part in the—incident. Besides, he didn’t start it. Just got beat up on—said a few witnesses.”

Then! Why’d they bring him in? Bulls are so frustratin’. “Uncle Bliar mighta left him in a cell for a week,” I said. “Doubt he appreciates his underage youngest spendin’ time at Lew’s.”

“What I figgered.” He muttered something about the age for drinking in the Range. “All for gettin’ pummeled by a much bigger bull. Cousin, even. He certainly didn’t go out of his way to insult seven, bigger bulls.” The troll tilted back the little white cardboard box and tapped the edge with his sticks to empty whatever crumbs were left into his mouth. Munched a moment. Swallowed. “But also figger—”

Kriz shoveled his feet, a bit obviously, and sighed.

“The bigger issue, bein’, cousins aired an internal clan issue in public. No one wants to see that. Not good for appearances here in the Valley. No one in this office wants to see any Birs folks embarrassed. Ya’ll own the stinkin’ Valley.”

Didn’t like the bull’s suggestion, even though I hadn’t heard yet, what really caused the ruckus. I sensed Kriz gettin’ even more impatient, and struck him hard with my best hen glare. That would silence the most arrogant bull, but of course Kriz gave me a glare right back. I needed to get this finished.

“Ya allowed him to text me. So why aren’t ya callin’ back to have him brought out?” I asked.

“Constable’s office is responsible for all shades of the peace in the Valley,” he said slowly. “The human didn’t get roughed up much. Mostly pushed around. Ike managed to protect him for the most part. But ya ogres aren’t the brightest creatures the gods created.”

He maybe thought his smile would soften the tease, but I was ready to smack his smile into his gullet. Funny that Kriz was the one who stepped forward and slapped the bull’s feet off of his desk.

The constable didn’t even bother givin’ Kriz a hard look, just settled himself in his seat. “What I was gonna say, is, I’m a bit worried what one of ya may do to yar cousin’s guest. There is some bad grumblin’ within the clan right now.”

Maybe my jaw dropped an inch or two. Because I went hikin’ with a human? “Humans have been comin’ to the Valley since, since, that elf set the cornerstone for the Inn’s foundation.”

The troll nodded slowly. Didn’t offer the tiniest peek Kriz’ way, who stood an inch away from his desk, fists clenched. Guess the constable understands well that we hens run things.

“Ogre bulls are oddly fascinated with the fact a human man, and an ogre hen—”

“Well it’s none of anyone’s business, one way or the other,” I growled.

The troll nodded. “Just keep an eye on yar friend. Don’t want him endin’ up buried in some crevasse.”

The bull was serious. After a moment, I considered it reasonable to clomp my maw closed. The troll was dancin’ a political line, tryin’ to be tactful, not upset a Birs. Still ticked me off.

~